This guy is totally delusional at the thought of his own invincibility, his entire life is spent sorting deals out to bring him even more dosh and now in the style of Tiger he’s looking like his life is over. His life of course being his wallet, he doesn’t seem to care too much about his wife and family and just hopes one day he’ll get the captaincy back. Mmm, dream on, to not even think he would be sacked?  What was he thinking that he didn’t even have the suss to resign? Oh I think that’s called dignity and bowing down, something you don’t do when you’re the captain of England, or at least in his eyes. After all everyone else are lesser mortals. Arrogant or what?

And slavering over your former team mate’s missus is pretty low especially when he thought you were his mate. In fact his wife was your mate really wasn’t she? Biblically you proved that.  I bet the rest of the team hire a bus to follow him home after training now. He has to be getting a few odd stares from them now as the full extent of his philandering has been revealed.

And all he seems worried about is that the publicity will hamper his earnings. Damn right it will and he deserves all he’s got coming. Just like Tiger thought he’d be OK, he wasn’t and now who would want to attach their name to a shamed ex England captain who’d lost his job cos of his knob? This guy takes the biscuit for sheer unadulterated greed as he has abused his position as our national team captain to line his pockets with as much money as possible. He really is despicable and pretty dumb too if you ask me to think he would get away with it. It’s a wonder he has the time to play football, maybe if they drop him he can pull his wages still and go around doing more deals. I can just see him rubbing his hands at the prospect, ‘Durgh I never thought of that’.

I think his arrogance has made the News of the World dig their teeth in even deeper, they aren’t going to let go by any stretch of the imagination. Let’s see how this affects his form because I’m sure there’s going to be a few sleepless nights when he comes to terms with the hurt he will feel, not for his wife but for his wallet. Sponsors will line up to be first out of the door.

What is it that we now create such self obssesed monsters.They get paid so much money and all they want is more, more, more. Whether it’s the boy who didn’t quite make it to Harvard, Carlos Tevez, Tiger ‘Shagnasty’ Woods or anyone else you care to mention there seems to be a pattern. They really do believe they have the right to do what they want and behave whatever way they see fit. And seeing fit nowadays is proving you are positively unfit to be the role model you pretend you are. “Role model?’ More like a roll in the sack with a model.

And then they think that the media should respect their privacy? They seem to be unable to realize that they forfeit that privacy when you display affections for some teammates wife. No one was following him on holiday with his family or hounding the kids by taking pictures, no they respected that as private but behaving badly is public domain.

Each week I think the press is going to be after another one now, though I have to admit trapping Terry is a gem of a find and will take some beating. They need to find an aging international who’s had unprotected sex with a farm animal and given birth to a flock of wayward geese.

In an age when the print media is suffering the News of the World are clever enough to realise nothing sells copy like a story like this embalzoned on their front page. It just looks a bigger scoop and much more scandalous when it’s glaring off a newstand than on your computer screen. And now they have their teeth in people will keep coming back for more. He’s become a laughing stock although he’s too cocky to probably realize it, just look at what happened to poor old David Beckham when he ineffectually stuck out a boot and tripped some Latino knobhead up in the World Cup. He was hounded from ground to ground week after week, vilified and still he rose above it all to become a better footballer and person. He handled it well because he’s a better equipped celeb than Terry. There’s the rub.

Because John Terry wears shorts and kicks a ball doesn’t make him a real celebrity, it makes him famous. But axe murderers are famous too aren’t they?  More like notorious if you want my opinion. You don’t, to hell with you you’re getting it anyway, no real celebs step up to the table and admit when they’ve done wrong, they don’t run around and try to instigate a cover up when they’ve been found out. This isn’t Watergate, skip. Sorry I mean ex skip.

I hope they impeach him and that Portuguese team conquering slapper disappears up her own publicity with all her melons.

Tiger Would?

As the cult of celebrity thickens, it’s fast becoming an epidemic. I’m sitting in Orlando just down the road from the once squeeky clean Tiger Woods who’s now looking like he was a tiger after all. He only ever popped out for a round of golf but now he’s got to be feeling a little caged in with the world’s media camped outside his Isleworth estate.

And now we discover he’s had more than one illicit affair. Each day we have another ‘Woodette’ stepping in to the media circus. Apparently the girl who originally had denied any wrong doing might admit to doing right by admitting to doing wrong. Could it have something to do with the other scarlet woman having just landed $150,000 from US weekly.? Maybe I could convince someone I was his love child and land a pay check? Er, maybe not…

While his Escalade  needs an extreme makeover somewhere to the tune of $8,000 he seemed to think his image would remain untarnished. His check book can more than cover the cost of the vehicular damage yet I can’t help wondering why his millions weren’t better spent protecting his image. We have actual persons deployed nowadays as image consultants and why he didn’t find the best we’ll never know. Did he really expect that by keeping quite this would go away. Yes you Mr Woods billionaire and most rewarded sports star on earth. This was NEVER going to go away and now when a simple ‘I fucked up’ statement to all and sundry might have sufficed it’s a big time headache. All the vultures are out and it looks like they are baying for blood. His sponsors were quoted as saying they didn’t have a problem with this but now as each day goes by they must be wondering that this is bad publicity. I’m looking at it and wondering how much could one man possibly lose in one week. Never mind the sponsors what about the missus?  He’s already apparently ‘renegotiating’ the pre nup. Is that a prenupshutmeup  to stop her selling her side of things to the press? And  what could that be worth! Then there’s the publishing advance from hell. Here fill in whatever you want, just give us the meat and bones

I firmly believe in this day and age of people making fortunes out of celebrity fuck ups he should have found one image consultant supremo and slapped an open check on their desk and say, ‘Get me out of this, whatever it costs, just get me out of this.’ Money well spent and money very well saved.

Let’s be honest a man knowing what he’d done and with unlimited funds to employ the best would have someone come round, cut a check and say, ‘Make this go away.’ For a guy who seemed to have it all and the type of brand sponsors fall over you would expect he would have made a better job of all this. Where are his advisers, he must have them? If not …Tiger I’m here, I’d have done it for you!

Even though his sponsors are saying they are sticking by him, how long can all this bad publicity realistically be tolerated? I feel particularly sorry for one of his sponsors, Nike who’s slogan is ‘Just do it.’ A TV ad with Tiger Woods on…….and a tag line that fires across the screen saying ‘Just do it?’ I think there might be some people sat behind closed doors rethinking their marketing plan or at least who their marketing plan should involve. Here is a brand that can, after all attract the creme de la creme from the sporting world and there are a good few few celebrity sports people that are far less maintenance. And you have thought a golfer would have been so much ’safer’ than a football or baseball player. Maybe not..

There is plenty more to come from this story. Tiger, Tiger’s burning bright but for now I’ve gone.

And guess what? Chrissie boy, having bounded in to Larry King’s show a few months ago to ‘apologize’ decided once again, that he should have another right to reply. Like we cared the first time? And MTV opened their door like the reality madhouse they are and let him in. How totally deplorable. I don’t feel it’s disrespectful, which is what others are saying. That isn’t at all appropriate, don’t you have to have respect in the first place in order to disrespect it?

This showdown was fast becoming a battle of the brands. She has a career, his was falling apart around him. Guess what baby boy, no one likes an abuser. No matter what talent you have it just shows you up as a lowlife, a bully, a coward and what’s the word? WANKER. I’m sure there’s plenty of us out there putting blog to work and commenting on last night’s circus. She decided to speak after a long period of silence and not only did HE speak, he reacted! Good job she wasn’t around or likely he would have pounced. The tiger would have been cornered once again.

He thought she was wrong, he said it was between him and her and it should be private. OK, big boy then go make your records and keep them private. Don’t release them because if you do then you’re public domain and if you beat the shit out of someone then people have a right to know. Sadly though your public side likes you to be noticed and definitely your bank account does. You wouldn’t want that to take a beating now would you? You wouldn’t want to see that beaten and broken. Oh and by the way if it was that private then why did you go on national TV and talk about it? ……TWICE!

You can smell the PR all around him, you need to do this, and now. They’ll be people wanting to hear your side of the story, why don’t you do it to deflect from her when she’s on Prime Time on ABC. The only thing it will salvage is a few who might have flicked between channels. What is there to explain? You’re a bully and you smacked a woman.

It must be really hard doing interviews when you’re stupid, but if you’re stupid and successful then you have PR. And the PR will get you in front of the right people, they’ll work at finding you the opportunity to redeem yourself. Damn, they forgot that it involves opening your mouth and sounding believable. How could you not feel this had everything to do with him and nothing to do with her. HE GOT CAUGHT OUT, he’s not that smart and he’s trying to claw his way back. Her face hurt but his ego was was really took a beating. All of a sudden people didn’t like him and when you’re used to adoration you can’t bear the thought that you are getting bad publicity. Most of the abusers around get away with it because it doesn’t get reported and it isn’t in the papers, on TV. Thank God some of these cowards get caught out.

I’m thinking the PR people here should have given him a script to learn and told him not to deviate from it. But his ego would never allow that, the media wants to talk to him and he gets to have his say. I’d cringe if I had to put this geezer on TV and worry at what he might come out with. He needs to dance and on a stage. He’s good at that but when you try to dance around questions and interrogation you just ain’t good enough, son. It’s not what you do. And to see how you react to being cornered by a defenseless girl who wanted to know why, when you were going out with her were you texting another girl. How dare you ask me that, how dare you catch me out. If I hit her hard enough she’ll stop interrogating me. Smack, shut the fuck up!

And out come the industry folks would want to try and clean up the shit, keep his career on track. They have a living to make too. Where’s the record company honchos condemning their artist, even sacking him. They daren’t, they have precious few artists who are keeping them in work nowadays as it is. Let’s not kick the shit out of the hand that feeds us.

You have to admire the Chairman of Wigan Athletic Football Club though who sacked that other wanker who smacked a female about because she didn’t accept ‘Who he was!’ It’s always been a killer of a line hasn’t it guys when you have to use that to entice the female of the species. It sounds better than, I’m a twat, I can’t string a sentence together but would you like to have a look at my bank statement before I allow you to shag me. Oh how the footballer is the great Lothario, the real master of seduction. Wasn’t it great the Chairman came out and condemned Stupid Marvin whatshisname  and said he regretted signing him. You’re history, fuck off , you’re sacked.

Starvin Marvin soon we might hope. He thought he could bully and attack if he didn’t get his own way. They slung him inside for 6 months so what’s twathead Brown doing on the tele anyway?

It had been a troublesome week for Bruce after he admitted to a faux pas, his dealings with Walmart. In case you missed it he had given exclusivity to Sam’s brand for the selling of his 12 track anthology album together with a 10 bucks price tag. Bruce had become just like The Eagles and a bunch of others, ‘cept The Eagles to their credit never claimed to be anything different. I remember many years ago seeing a Rolling Stone feature on them when I think it was Glenn Frey was quoted as saying ‘The only difference between laid back and boring is a million dollars’ If you want to take the money and run then as long as you say so who can complain? You don’t like it then don’t buy their records. Looking at the sales of Hotel California and the bulk of their back catalogue everyone seemed fine with it.

The thing is Bruce didn’t used to compromise, he cared about the common man, kept it rock n roll because that’s what rock n roll was supposed to be, doing things differently, being a rebel. The bottom line is that when push comes to shove (nice Superbowl lingo!) Bruce was faced with the stark reality that no matter how good an album he released it just wasn’t going to sell in the way he was used to and I think he panicked or maybe for the first time listened to his record company. As I previously mentioned he stood up and said at this week’s press conference he was doing it because he had a new record out. And that’s what ya gotta do nowadays.

He made a mistake and said he made a rash decision, or was it a rushed decision? Bruce Springsteen and the E -Street band are perfectionists, I admire and respect them and I think they are brilliant. It moved me this week when he said that they came out of a generation where growing up their heroes were great and if they were going to be in a band they wanted to emulate that, they weanted to be great.

Bruce has been criticized now by the New York Times and others for admitting his mistake. The media have dug their teeth in because he has come out and said it. It’s good copy, it’s worth writing about and it sells newspapers and they certainly need to do that. It’s Superbowl week too and everyone is reading everything. Bruce probably didn’t expect as much of the limelight, or at least only wanted to be written about for his performance. He isn’t used to this type of publicity.

It’ll be the same for U2 when they land their new album on us as it’ll be the same for everyone. Acts are looking for ways to get their albums to the masses, new ways to promote and market. Promotion and marketing for the older acts is radically different and they are faced with younger people promoting their records and they will have to understand that maybe they know best in today’s marketplace. Or in reality maybe they just know better. The stark reality is they just have to accept the inevitablity of it all, you won’t sell what you did. Those who once sold 10/15 million must be happy with 2/3 million, their big selling days are gone.

When the Christmas period came the industry would gleefully rub it’s hands together. Time to repackage the hell out of anything and everything. They relished the prospect, they knew the public had no option and would have to spend. They loved music and the music business loved their money.

It was a dream come true, pennies from heaven. If sales dipped a little in the summer then this would more than compensate. It was never ‘will Christmas be good?’ Just how good. Normally there would be at least one major act with a new release scheduled, sometimes they would even hold back a release until the last quarter just to maximize sales. TV advertising, deals with bands and less royalties to pay out, no recording costs, sling in an unreleased track so the fan base would have to buy it. How to get as much as possible from as many people and as quickly as possible. Happy Christmas! If they were still unsure then there was the record token market ensuring Christmas didn’t end until the end of January. Record shops never needed to have sales in January, there were still people ready to buy.

The Greatest Hits became the Best of, then the Very best of. All we need to do is move the track listing around, give it another title and we’ll be OK. How many of the same album by major artists are out there? Marketing people gone wild. What happened to the integrity of the artist? Yes there would be a requirement to deliver a greatest hits in their deal, but three, four, five of them ??  And all the same record just packaged in a different way.I can understand a different sleeve for a different market but the same record with a different sleeve several times over?

Maybe it just became a greedy business. Greed creating greed. The greed hasn’t gone, it’s just the desperation that has set in.

Tony was introducing a couple of items to camera and while we stood waiting in the wings we were informed that in two minutes they’d cut to a filmed item and that was our cue. We’d then be taken us on to the set for the interview and miked up. They looked very excited and were whispering to each other and giggling in what appeared mild Japanese flirtatious behavior.’Let’s go’ came the cry and on we danced.

The studio floor assistant clipped a couple of microphones on their lapels, Tony smiled at them, someone shouted ‘30 seconds left’ then ‘15′ and ‘go!’ I eased a sigh of relief, I knew ‘What’s on’ had the video because even in the mayhem I’d phoned ahead to check and as we were there on time no one need know how close we’d come to disaster. Tony voiced a link in to their current video, mentioned where the band would be playing and actually held up the sleeve of the single. Brilliant, much more of a plug for a relatively unknown act than I ever could have expected so I was more than happy. ‘ 30 seconds’ again came the cry, this time until the end of the video.’And action !’

Tony back announced the video made a mildly humorous comment, mentioned the forthcoming gig once more and The Plastics were on, LIVE ! ‘In the studio tonight I’m delighted to have singer Chica and guitarist Hajime from Japan’s latest sensation, The Plastics making their debut on UK television. ‘Welcome guys and thanks for popping in’. ‘Hello, Hi’ they uttered back through smiling, excitable grins and shiny white teeth’

‘ So what do you think of Manchester, have you had any time to look round yet?’ Tony spouted. There was a gap, probably 10 seconds , felt like an hour for me…they glanced at each other, Chica smiled and Hajime said ‘I like Beatle’ Pause, another gap, though not quite as long and Tony asked them a question about the album. Not a clue what, I just remember it was another question, another gap and again an even better smile from Chica. Hajime once again uttered ‘I like Beatle’ What the fuck, you like Beatle I was thinking. Who cares, what has that got to do with anything?

There was another gap, you couldn’t blame him but Tony expected something to follow on from ‘I like Beatle’ Nothing, not a soddin’ thing. He glanced over at me looking confused in the wings and like the complete pro he was said ‘Great video, let’s see a little more.’ And out from the director’s box they cut to the video, again.

We were the final item on the show so they played out with the video, Tony unclipped his microphone and headed straight towards me. ‘ Absolute classic, only you could bring a band in who couldn’t speak a word of fuckin’ English.’

The Factory Club, housed on Friday’s at the Russell club in Hulme was the next phase in Tony Wilson’s mission in creating the musical heritage of the city of Manchester. Everything he did from there on helped create a legacy and something everyone should remember him for. Tony’s passion and enthusiasm for everything he did for the city he loved so much should never be underestimated. He put Manchester firmly on the map in a way that generations down the line will remember. Tony was so vocal about the place, always putting himself out there and using his position to the benefit of the city. Tony, whether you like him or not was always heard. He was the type of person who made people listen. That’s all you want from any ambassador, the opportunity for them to get their message across, to make others listen. He was articulate and a brilliant communicator, and if he thought you were a twat he’d say so !

It brings back so many memories of the legendary meetings we had at Factory. Meetings only started to happen once they moved out of the flat in Palatine Road and in to the new building on Charles Street in Manchester. Factory’s new building was directly behind the BBC, how terribly establishment. They’d spent a fortune doing the place up but it was a totally different era. Sometimes all you can remember is all the financial crap that started to happen and how it spelled doom for Factory. It was never a lucky building, too much heartache.

Palatine Road was another place altogether, in every sense of the word! He thought as they’d spent so much on this ‘bloody fancy table’ at the new Factory HQ, the one Happy Mondays famously broke that we should sit around it and meet. Whenever there was a new release we would meet. So many times we would offer opinions about choice of singles, what we needed to do with who and when. At times you thought Tony wasn’t listening, he probably wasn’t. Every time he looked at the table who could blame him for thinking about something else! The New Order meetings were famous where I’d be constantly disagreeing on singles they wanted to put out, and Rob Gretton, New Order’s manager would snigger away at me lambasting Wilson.

Oh happy days.

I was a broken, beaten man at the airport, left stranded by the bitch from hell who thought she was doing me a favor. By then the only acceptable favor she could have done for me would be lie under the wheels of a 747 but even then I would worry for the passengers. By now I was feeling she was indestructible and still I had no way out, even suicide wouldn’t have been an option. She’d have been there waiting for me at the gates of hell with my boarding pass.

So now I don’t care, hurricane season is over so I will finish where she/we/us/life left off. I was at the airport waiting for a member of staff to come and collect me, why they hadn’t a clue. One minute I was in the office and the next I was in a meeting. And then for no apparent reason I was in an aiport lounge, without a ticket and going nowhere. You wouldn’t expect anyone to understand but think about me for a moment will you !!!! What the hell was I supposed to tell Marlene who was on her way to pick me up? ‘Don’t ask’ would have been the best idea if I thought I could have got away with it. Marlene was brilliant, she understood me…which also made me realize I would have got away with nothing. I was hung out to dry.

She arrived and there I was on the arrivals ramp where proper busy execs were picked up by their PA’s. I had no bag so it looked like I’d gotten off the redeye after failing to clinch a major deal. I was trying to think of what to say. She pulled up, at least she’d had the sense to come in my car and not waste her own petrol, flung open the passenger door and said ‘Well ?’ I’d been phyching myself up for 25 minutes thinking of what to say while it was pissing down outside and all she could say was ’Well?’ Matched only by my answer, ‘Well what!’

I pretended like there was nothing wrong, as though it was perfectly normal to be collected by your PA at the airport…the one person who should know where you are at all times, and she was flummoxed. Good, I hate being predictable, problem was we were going nowhere, she clearly wanted an explanation, and clearly I had no reasonable one. ‘Do you fancy some lunch?’ said the man with all the lines, Mr smooth airport man. ‘It’s twenty past 5, I was about to leave’ I didn’t accept that for an answer, she didn’t have any kids’ I was trying to body swerve an interogation as I thought I’d lost the chance for an anwer. ‘LUNCH!, where the……are we going to get any lunch. I just lurched in with a series of inane answers..this one just as bad, ‘Just say if you’ve eaten’

Lame , I know, I wasn’t embarrased I just couldn’t bear to talk about her anymore. I needed my life back.

To be continued….still ! The computer wants to go back to it’s mother and as I am still without………..laptop not mother. I shall return and conclude the nonesense…well this bit anyway.