Another topic I hadn’t really considered blogging about but then I thought, why not? Why not what, comment on Ellen DeGeneres’ debut on American idol that’s what. And then I thought who really cares, it’s not as though anyone’s going to drop her from the show and besides every paper and TMZ type show is covering it anyway. It’s entertainment news and the nation is a sucker for it, they can’t ever get enough. But I’m a whore so here it is.
I started to think deeper though, dangerous in itself and about the future of American Idol in general which will not stand or fall by Ellen DeGenerative, successful or otherwise. Soon the Ellen novelty will have worn off and we’ll be back to all the speculation around who will replace Simon Cowell because you have to remember that Ellen is only Paula’s replacement. Fortunately Ellen has a very lucrative career independent of Idol and won’t ever be known as ‘Paula’s replacement.’ Perish the thought, sounds like the person thrust in to the Big Brother house when a previous contestant was exposed as being an albino dwarf who ran an illicit opium den for transvestite oil sheiks.
Interestingly enough there’s been talk of Howard Stern, and while I love Howard I don’t think so. American Idol? He’d rather judge a porn pagent, it’s more interesting for him and anyway the after show parties would be a lot more fun. He would probably be totally scathing on Idol when he saw what they had parading in front of him and how much talent there was. That would terrify possible future contestants though also, living in fear of the wrath of Howard Stern. Oh my God, he’d tear then apart limb to limb. Howard Stern’s career is built entirely on doing what the fuck he wants and he would cater to no one. Where Simon is now motivated by sustaining his vast wealth and even adding to it, Stern is still a maverick and further and further away from the establishment. Fox doing a deal with Howard Stern, I don’t think so or if he did he’d want everything Rupert Murdoch owned. You’ll never have any Grannies thinking Howard’s sweet or funny or cute and that alone eliminates any thoughts of mass appeal. American Idol is not about taking risks, there is too much at stake now. It’s all about the ratings because the ratings give them infinite power, the power to make even more money and that is all it’s about. Don’t tell me they’re building careers because they’re not with the exception of maybe two or three out of hundreds of thousands.I think that’s called the law of averages and a mean one in the worse sense of the word! And let us not forget there is no hiding the fact that their king is abdicating.
Elton John has been mentioned too, I think he’d be good but again it’s probably everything he despises and he certainly doesn’t need it. Elton broke because he had more than every ‘idol’ put together and then some. He didn’t need a Simon manufactured makeover that’s for sure, he mastered his own class and he has survived because he’s as far away from being manipulated by this industry as anyone. Elton knows what makes Elton become known, and remembered. He considered himself a writer but not a lyricist and got a very good one in Bernie Taupin. It’s a collaboration that has lasted to this day. Will that be Simon Cowell and Westlife in forty years? Mmm somehow I think not. That’s the thing we don’t have nowadays, artists having the creative flair for knowing who to work with rather than being told who you ARE working with. Artists even knowing who they are and ultimately what they want. American Idol contestants are there because they want someone to do it all for them and then when they don’t get selected their world subsides.
Do the lottery it’s a safer bet.
