The Brits. that much lauded, much laughed at awards ceremony celebrating what’s best in British music. But has it really ever done that? Those who think they know put together a list of nominees, spread them around the labels they work for and then troll along to the event knowing that their expenses will get signed off, because they sign them. When they start off there is speculation, will they get it right and then as each year goes by your expectations become less and less. Until you expect nothing and you’re satisfied. . Next year I vow to not even comment, though I might have said that last year. I only watched for curiosities sake and Lady Ga Ga who by a mark of respect for Alexander McQueen was very low key on the night.
I’m just glad they haven’t come up with a ‘Lifetime Whinger’ award for Whitney Houston or ‘The Lifetime Ego’ award for Clive Davis. In fact it would need to be ’The Clive Davis Award’ so Clive can come up on stage to present it to himself every year, and then when he pops it Whitney can come up and accept it posthumously on his behalf and tell us how he will always be missed. ‘I will always love me.’ Clive’s cover version of Whitney’s cover of Dolly’s song. (Parton the pun.)
The funny thing is I didn’t see the whole of The Brits but I saw enough on You Tube and read various reports all saying the same thing as it’s said every year. It is what it is, but does is what it is make it what it should be? The problem is we don’t have anything to celebrate now, no one’s buying records so the only way they can get anyone to watch a show is to put the only artists on who sell anything. So then we are left with a show to showcase the artists who’s records we have already bought.
You’d be tempted to call the proceedings ’safe’ if it wasn’t for the predictable controversy of ‘anarchy.’ We’d had the water thrown over John Prescott outrage. We’ve had the Michael Jackson carry on from Jarvis Cocker. We’ve had the Sam Fox, Mick Fleetwood great presenters of our time show. We’ve had the lot but they always manage to find something that will make it to the papers. But didn’t you expect it the moment Liam Gallagher stepped up on the stage, that sweet aroma of predictability where he wants to grow old disgracefully and The Brits is the place to do it. I saw him swagger up and I was going ‘Go on Liam do something outrageous, be respectful and say what a fantastic ride Oasis had been.’ Thank others for allowing you your own bit of the limelight but no he did the most obvious thing possible. He was Liam twenty years on.
He wasn’t there to celebrate anything, he just thought he needed a bit of attention and he knew the media would lap it up. But now when you’ve been and gone wouldn’t it have been more outrageous then to do something not outrageous? People would have given him a rousing reception but he’d rather take the swipes, it’s mens work. How utterly ludicrous to thank his band apart from the one person who allowed their very existence. Why would we have ever wanted another swaggering monkey when we still had the King Monkey himself, Ian Brown? And let’s face it Ian Brown has always been and still is cooler than Liam Gallagher. Sorry Liam you worked well in the band as a front man but all the tired tactics? It’s no longer relevant.
Maybe you should have kissed Robbie Williams live at The Brits. Damn, I’ve given them an idea for next year. it if not for whom it wouldn’t have been much of a band.
